The Idiots At My Apartment: A Photo Essay

I am convinced I live amongst idiots.  I'm sure everyone says that about apartment life at some point or another, but I'm being serious.   

I LIVE AMONGST IDIOTS.

The story goes as follows...

Once upon a time our building managers decided the stucco walls on the exterior of the building needed a makeover, and brought in a magical reno company from a far away land (probably the west end) to put up new siding, along with replacing everyone's windows, no charge to us.  Fantastic.  What I didn't know, however, was that they would bring in a monstrous ogre of a blue dumpster, and that it would be placed beside my pride and joy, my Mustang.

 

Yep, that's my car. And that's the dumpster by my car. This photo was taken August 30.  It contained 2 love seats, a box spring, a futon mattress and frame, a computer desk, a cute pair of size 8 shoes that would totally fit me but probably contain foot rot, and hopefully some bodies deep within its core.

I'm guessing the magical reno company thought this would be a convenient way to clean up after their mess.  Apparently a bunch of other people thought so as well.  {All praise the blue dumpster.}

Perhaps I can interest you in a futon mattress?   
(I love how it was precariously balanced on the dumpster ledge.)

 

Or, perhaps I can interest you in a love seat?

 

I gotta admit, that shoe was PRETTY fucking cute.

{The looming crow was foreshadowing of imminent disaster.}

The ever growing garbage heap was bad enough...WHAT REALLY got me was the fact that one day a mattress appeared beside the dumpster...then the next day the mattress miraculously ended up back in the building.  

Where in the building, you ask?  

The laundry room.

That's right.  The fucking laundry room.  Not for someone to sleep on, but shoved in there at an angle for funsies. 

And who found it?  

Yep, me.

I went downstairs to put in a load of laundry when I opened the door and was welcomed by the dumpster mattress, staring out at me with its curious stains.  I had to stand there a minute, soaking in what I had just walked into.  

Fortunately for me, another apartment minion walked by and saw exactly what I had been staring at.  We both just looked at each other for a second.  Lucky for me she graciously helped me move the mattress out of the laundry room (yes, I had to touch it...then went OCD with soap) out into the hallway.  She promised to get her man friend to move it out later when he got home from work.  Fair enough.  I went about my business.

Later that afternoon I had some free time on my (now washed) hands and decided to draft up this note to stick on the Community Board:

 

It garnered some attention.

I got a kick out of the "response" on the recipe card.  I had to hand-write my response back to them.  There was no way in hell I could carry a mattress by myself up a flight of stairs.

This little note actually inspired my boyfriend Brendan to come up with The Sarcasm Meter, the greatest single invention ever created from a pizza box.  Behold its wonder!

The meter was stolen within a few days :(

Oh, by the way, this is the single item we were all making a hoop-lah about.  Would anyone care for a free mattress?  Did I mention it's free? FREE.

Sadly, the mattress stayed trapped there for weeks.  I sure as hell didn't want to touch that thing again.  Rashes aren't my style.

Now you may ask, did the mattress live happily ever after?  

Nah.  One morning some retard decided they had enough of the mattress in their hall way, and brought it up to the door.  Not through and out the door, just beside it.

By then the mystical mattress had garnered even more gross stainage, which I will share with you. :)

I decided my next note would be straight to the point. 

I stuck it onto the mattress...

...where it was stolen an hour later.

The mattress was finally banished from the apartment, never to be seen again.

The moral of the story is:  I hate my neighbours.

Smooches,

~E

Whimsical Benji

These photos were taken a month and some ago...my mom decided to buy Ben and his cousin a bubble gun, and I thought it'd be fun to take some photos.

 

Smooches,

~E

Birthday

Yep, today's my birthday.  I'm now 26.  Good times are to be had.

My co-workers at the station did this little thing on air for me.  I didn't even know about it until my mom called me up this morning.  <3

 

And my boyfriend bought me a Diana camera...*drool*

Smooches,

~E

Dreamy

I wish I knew how they got this effect. Maybe After Effects? I lurve it.

Wish from Still Corners on Vimeo.

Smooches, 

~E

Breadfruit!

This past weekend Brendan and I had a hankering for some Jamaican food...damn that stuff is good.  I can honestly say that I crave curried ox-tail...I imagine most people (at least from Alberta!) don't.  Another food that I crave is Breadfruit...now what, you may ask, is breadfruit?  Well, it's a fruit that's indigenous to southern Asia, mainly Malaysia and Papua New Guinea.  Apparently it entered Jamaica in the late 1700s and has become a staple since.

Our breadfruit was served deep-fried with a slightly spicy-mayo concoction.  I love it.  Sadly it's out of season...still, I want more.

 

 

Smooches,

~E

Benji Be Dancing

My son's father, Nathan, is a fan of reggae music and currently works with Jamaican music producers in their own studio.  While listening to Sammy Dread, Ben started dancing and Nathan made this video.  Too cute.

Smooches,

~E

Mini 'Stache

I felt it was time for Ben to have a mustache.  I mean, he's 18 months now dammit, soon I'll be shipping him off to military school.  (I joke, I joke.)

Doesn't he look so damn precious?  Now I just need to spray paint the words "Free Candy" on the side of my van and we're in business.

 

After about 3 minutes he ripped it off.  So much for my fun, SIGH.  The aviators are still pretty sweet.

Smooches,

~E

The Faroe Islands

Lately I've been completely enchanted by this little island nation in the North Atlantic known as the Faroe Islands...I'm not sure why, but something about the culture, the landscape, and the language have captivated me. To think I didn't know it existed a year ago, and I pride myself on being a geography dork! :(  I'm now on the hunt to find a snail mail bud from the Faroe Islands, or to communicate with anyone from there, but it seems to be a tricky task! 

Behold Heaven on Earth.

Faroe Islands from kovboyfilm on Vimeo.



Faroe Islands - Vintage vehicles from kovboyfilm on Vimeo.


Below are some images of the Faroe Islands I grabbed off Google Search...one day I hope to go there myself.

 

Ain't she a beauty?

Smooches,

~E